Bai Ling – Celebrity Rehab Star from the MOON!

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My Dear Friends,

It was a beautiful blue-sky day. The kind you see in the Hollywood movies when everything is perfect.  There she was – speeding into the driveway of the exclusive marina club in the Los Angeles area. Our location was a secret so as not to alert the paparazzi who follow her every whereabouts.  As her little white Mercedes screeched to a halt, all I could see was silky long dark black/brown hair and large framed sunglasses shielding her face behind the car’s steering wheel.  Then those oh so long legs and that sinewy lithe frame elongated out from the driver’s side of the car. She was breathtakingly beautiful, actress/model and international treasure, Bai Ling. This shining star is indeed from “The Moon”, as she likes to say. She proclaims to have a gift for all mankind. Your little Cyndi Sleuth was there.

Psssssst! Come with me!

 Pictured above is Cyndi Targosz (l) and Bai Ling (r)   (Photos by Gator)

Hi, I’m Cyndi Targosz and I’d like to share “My Cyndi’s Secrets – Shhhh! ™”. Today is very special because we have an exclusive “Cyndi Chat” with Bai Ling for BIZSU Magazine. She’s a woman who’s constantly working in the entertainment business.  Bai has starred in numerous films such as The Crow, Red Corner and is a household name in her native country of China. She has been named one of the most beautiful women in the world by People Magazine and her list of credits goes on and on. However, many people choose to remember Bai for getting caught shop lifting at Los Angeles International airport, acting wild and risqué on the red carpet and being famously “out there” during her starring stunt on VH1’s Celebrity Rehab with Dr. Drew. When I first met Bai on the red carpet at a celebrity event, I immediately knew there was more to her than the stigma and rumors that continued to surround her quirky personality.  After all, here is a woman who managed to leave a communist country after years of abuse in the Peoples Liberation Army and has done by most standards quite well for herself. I’m personally amazed by her genteel quality in spite of all the harsh reality that she has been through – and I’m not talking about a “reality TV show”. I’m talking about life. Now, I’m not going to defend bad behavior or make excuses for anyone.  I’m just saying leave judgment calls to God. Have faith that people can grow and change in a positive and joyful direction. I invite you to enjoy this Cyndi Chat with Bai Ling as she opens up about film, rehab, dating and evolving. Shhhh! 🙂 

CT.  Hi Bai! It is  so great to have you here for this Cyndi Chat. You look stunning as usual.

BL.  Thank you, you too, you look Beautiful… 

CT.  Oh thank you… 

BL.  I’m so glad to have the opportunity to be on your program… and talking about Life, Art, Film and everything about women too… 

CT.   That’s fabulous! My goodness;  you have worked with Richard Gere, Ben Affleck, Helen Mirren and the list goes on. Tell us a little bit about that? What have been your favorite pictures?  

BL.  Well, that’s always a very hard question because I feel I’m very fortunate and lucky… I always say I landed from the Moon to come to earth and fulfill my duty or my gift to give to earth, basically to give to the screen……each film has one of my spirits that shines in it, so each one is very, very special  because it’s part of me…part of the truth of me, part of honesty and feeling of true life and feelings that I give to my character that I share with all of you on screen, so I feel that all of them are my favorite.     

CT.  And your spirit always comes through in your roles too.  Now is there somebody, another actor or actress that you wish you could work with someday?  

BL.   Yes I always would like to work with Brad Pitt… 

CT.   Me Too….(laugh) 

BL.    (Laugh)  When I came here he was married.. (Smiling) so I said, I want to find someone like him to get married… ..So then, Johnny Depp of course because I think he’s one of the actors who really takes chances…..I think he’s just there for the moment of Joy at doing what he’s best at… I think his heart is pure. I hope one day I will work with him….  

CT.  I’ve seen you on numerous Red Carpets… and I remember the first time I met you, I had asked you “how are you doing” and you told me that you were from the Moon.. And it made me laugh and I just knew that the way you said it that there was a lot of depth to you and that the media was just scratching the surface with you….So, let’s go back a little bit in your history because you’ve really come through a lot and have quite a background.  You were born in China and your parents left China during the Cultural Revolution and I understand that you were raised by your grandmother, is that correct? Tell us a little bit about that.  What was that like and how did that influence you? 

BL. Yes, my grandparents……when I think about it and think back it feels like a dream that my grandparents raised me.  And basically I see the stars, the mountains, the trees and the wild animals in nature.  We would brush our teeth and wash our feet in the moonlight, there is no TV, there’s no other things but nature.  And my grandfather was a great scholar and he would carry me on his shoulders… so I memorized many, many poems when I grew up from all of these great poets from China.  Of course I remember my grandmother in the winter time… it was always very cold.. and in the middle of the night or in the morning I would wake up and hear this sound…I open my eyes and the door was open..and she just came back in and her face was all red..and she would say “shhhh”… She would get up early like at 5:00 o’clock and clean all the snow from the front steps in front of all the doors…but she was doing this anonymously.  Not like a lot of parents teach you to do..she would just do and I would watch and I would know that generous giving spirit, that smile of helping others to make others lives more delightful.. That spirit…. 

CT.    And that spirit seems to be coming through you because it’s the one thing I noticed when I first met you that you have this glow, this wonderful inner spirit that just reaches out to the world.  And I know too that looking back in my research about you, that at a very early age you had enlisted in the People’s Liberation Army. That must have been quite interesting to go from your enthusiastic attitude in the beginning to experiencing abuse while you were enlisted.  Can you share a little bit about what that was like? What was your attitude like when you went in vs. when you finally got out? You might inspire some people by that story.   

BL.   Yes, I was 14 when I joined the Peoples Liberation Army in Tibet.  I was a young soldier there, but it was an entertainment group. I learned instruments. I played violin, I played pipa professionally,   I sang… I danced…so I auditioned and they took me… But for me.. the most attractive thing as I reflect … was the uniform.  I was always into style even when I was 14. 

CT.   Even back then you were into the style of the uniform? 

BL.  Yeah, the women would wear the uniform and I felt it was so beautiful to look at them. For men it was kind of normal but for the women I said Wow how special, I want to wear that uniform.  It seemed like an innocent simple thing,…. but I just trust nature, trust everything, even for the uniform but I know there is a bigger purpose behind it.  I just trusted, but it was really difficult just because as a young girl I did not understand sex, I did not understand anything of a relationship between a man and a woman.  So, a lot of things were quite shocking and it startled and twisted my mind.  I didn’t know how to respond.  I used to think the baby came from the belly button. 

CT.   And you were so young back then and probably very naive……I mean, here you’re enlisting because you are thinking about the nice uniform. 

BL.   I know…and the hard training…getting up at 5am.. I would say “If you want me to be healthy, I need my sleep”, I was crying ….. I had to run..And all that sweating and it’s cold.. …It’s Tibet !!!  The harsh wind is like cutting off your face… my face was swollen because it was too cold… looking at myself I could barely see my eyes..I was just crying, but the magic of things, we were at a high altitude something like 5,000 feet and I looked and it was the first time I had ever seen the stars and the moon beneath me.  I said wow, be gentle their heart is beating I can hear their breathing, they’re sleeping, I said, do not disturb nature.  

CT.   Well, did that help you then?  Because you did have to deal with some very tough hard stuff like some of the physical abuse you’ve shared…. and Hon, yet you’re so un-jaded …..I mean there are a lot of people out there nowadays who are dealing with a lot of abuse and if anyone who has dealt with it and has come through with flying colors, it’s you.   How did you deal with it emotionally and get through such a tough terrible time?  

BL.   I think a lot of it had to do with innocence, with belief and appreciation of life… my grandmother taught me to appreciate life.  And I feel like every day I am receiving so many gifts.  Even like today I am talking with you and your audience. I feel like this time we share it belongs to us, it is intimate. 

(Bai Ling & I pictured above share My Cyndi’s Secrets – Shhhh!™)

BL.  And I hope that through my experience it can help people…. The other day I was actually on facebook and talking with one of my fans.   He said “Bai Ling without you I’m not even here.”  And I said, “what do you mean?”  He said, “I’m going to share the secret with you later.”  I said OK.  And then I felt like my breath stopped and that something heavy, serious had happened. A couple of weeks later he came back and he said, “I was an alcoholic and I struggled between life and death and because of you, you did it, I stopped it and today I’m alive.”

CT.   I am so touched by that…and of course a lot of people have seen you on Celebrity Rehab and you were such a major part of that show dealing with your own struggles with alcoholism.  Tell us a little bit about that.

BL.    I think that from an early age, because my father drank, like in China every man drinks and every woman too… Chinese white wine is very strong, like 60%. (alcohol)..And he would always take chopsticks and dip them and I would taste it… and my face would turn red because I am naturally allergic to alcohol..But I liked it because I was pale and I would see beautiful girls with their cheeks red and I would say “wow.. Beautiful now”….. because I was always a pale little girl.  So I liked it…..  So now going back to the Liberation Army, remember that I am a performer…and before every performance all the leaders would have a big feast with huge meals and we would have to drink.  In China if you don’t drink like “bottoms up”!, they consider that you are not respectful or polite, especially for the women. There were only seven of us in our whole Tibetan area.  So, we had to drink with them, so I was literally drunk on stage just laughing and going crazy.

CT.   You were able to perform even while you were drunk?

BL.   I did. I behaved just laughing, happy.   So, I wrote so many apology letters.  They said  …”Bai Ling you cannot do that”… The next day I was throwing up so I knew it was the alcohol.  So I asked “why did you give me drink?” My face was all red and I was just out of my mind.

CT.   OK, so once you developed that habit and addiction, it’s got to be hard to break and so you ended up on Celebrity Rehab and had some good days and some bad days. Looking back on the television show, what is your reflection?

BL. ….. even though I was drinking…like I would say an alcoholic I should not have been drinking. …. VH-1 they called me to do the show…I did not want to.  My agent at the time then told me that if you do it, your career will be ended.  So I said you told me not to so I won’t do it but they kept coming back to me. So then after I think a month or two months I became curious, because in my life in China I have never seen a psychiatrist, I have no clue of what is this.…so I curious to see what they can do…and what is rehab?,On the other hand sometimes when I’m being still and I can hear voice..I can hear this guidance.  I said, OK I should follow.  I said I might have some problem and you need to go there.  So that’s what I did.

CT.   So are you glad you did it now?

BL.   Yes… so finally I accepted I said maybe there’s a problem… You know, I have to confess to you that I had these “little” bottles of alcohol.. I loved them, I drank and I had them everywhere…before I went to rehab I only had a few left.  And every time I would drink I loved to go to the sauna where I lived… and I struggled to open my eyes…If I let my eyes close I would be dead.  The high heat there…nobody’s there….

CT.   Oh, that’s very dangerous.

BL.   But I knew that if I don’t get help, thank God whoever there helped me, one day you’ll find me dead there…..So when I was in Rehab I was truthful and I was real and I was trying to deal with myself.  It’s being vulnerable.  First time when they showed the show I was so terrified….The camera was literally right here (only inches from her face)… and I said Oh No…(backing away)…I was crying and the camera was all over me… but after awhile I got used to it… the camera became my friend and I would ignore… but that was the show and I said “Oh S**t”…I don’t know what they’re going to put out there.  Later I’m driving around where I live and at a diner and this homeless guy said “Young lady you’re so pretty…why are you here this hour where are you trying to get?”  I said… I’m not sure I just walked in…..  So he told me “You’ve got to be careful because it is so dangerous out here”. And he said “I know you have troubles…but it’s all going to be fine!”  A homeless guy was telling me this…

CT.    So, do you feel the show helped you… bottom line?

BL.   I feel it has tremendously! Something I also learned from the media… I think before the way I was behaving (In public) because of the alcohol (during appearances) with my nipples out and I’m all over..

CT.   Yeah, you’ve got a little bit of a reputation… I’m just sayin’…(laugh)… but everybody loves you though…

BL.   (Laughing)  Yeah like the paparazzi… they say “Oh Bai Ling we Love you”… but they will just try to encourage you …I thought they were my friends… But there is something I learned… you don’t give them ammunition…So if I guard myself, if I know who I am and show respect for myself as the talented, sophisticated Bai Ling which I am… I want the people who watch the program to know me as a budding actress and a beautiful human being and kind heart who wants to help, that’s all I am. … I want to say one thing (to readers) Please, Do not drink, do not do drugs…. Because with your eyes sober your eyes will be open to see the world and it’s so much more beautiful…and it’s not scary and it’s not terrifying…I am here and if I can do it…you can do it. We’re all here to help you.. .we’re all part of us and you help me too…..

CT.   I’ve always said Bai Ling that you’re very special. So, Ok now tell us a little bit about your projects too. Aren’t you on a film right now?

BL.   Oh yes, we are shooting every day now……

CT.   (an aside)….I was lucky to get this interview because Bai is so popular…

BL.   So, I’m shooting this movie and I am very grateful because it’s going to be… how shall I say?.. well, it’s going to be a phenomenal, beautiful movie.  And it’s based on a prize winning novel.. which is a very prestigious project and I was very lucky to get the part of the leading lady which originally was for a white  actress. ……. So, I’m shooting everyday and I’m so excited.

CT.  What kind of character is it?  Can you tell us?

BL.  It’s a story about relationships…for example:  like people living in Beverly Hills … all this fancy life …like the rich life of today,. But beneath all this surface…what is their life like? What are their inner struggles, what are their sufferings or their sadness or their happiness..How do they deal with relationships…..

CT.   So, are you going to Dish and tell us what the name of that movie is?

BL.  …actually I would like to reveal to you just before we’re ready to release it…but for right now I want to keep it a secret. ( Bai makes the Cyndi Shhhh gesture)

CT.   A real Cyndi’s Secret huh?

BL.   Yes…. It’s very sexy, erotic, challenging…

CT.  Oh I can’t wait… you must let me know as soon as it’s out.  I want to go to the premier…This sounds like a wonderful evolution for you … I’m very proud of you.  Now I wanted to ask you too… I think it was back in 2005 you were on the cover of Playboy Magazine, you were the first Asian woman to appear nude in the magazine.  Tell me, do you think that helped your career..Hurt you.. What is your thought about back then?

BL.  Well at that time Playboy approached me.  I said why me I’m not like with big boobs and all..

CT.  Oh but your beautiful Bai.

BL.   Well, I think I carry this mystery as a woman, sensuality is naturally in my soul and I just let it open up to the world.  I think that there is something beautiful about that, just innocence and beauty. But to Playboy I said no also, because in China Playboy is considered like porno.  Because in Communist country it’s viewed as revealing what is not to be in the public eye.  So then I refused it.  Many stars and actresses want to be on the cover and Hugh Heffner is very picky to choose…

CT.  Oh Yes he’s extremely picky, absolutely.  But he did well in choosing you and what an honor, especially to be the first Asian woman and break that mold.

BL.   Well, they told me that Playboy is western man’s bible…

CT.  ( burst of laughter)  Yeah… for the articles…

BL.   It was the longest makeup ever.  I was in the makeup room forever because I was just terrified to be nude so I just took my time.  And when we started shooting, even though I was nude I would cover up different areas of my body..And they would say, “Move your hand!”  And I could not.  But finally I did. I was shooting for seven days… and later I was running around ……..

CT.   (Laughing)  Running around uninhibited and in the spirit of things?

BL.   Yeah!  It felt like working in a fairytale story where everyone had to be nude and beautiful.  Reflecting – I know nude is beautiful, it’s our minds that are dirty.  As a woman our beauty is a gift from God.  Like with the breasts…I know that for a man it’s something sexy and erotic, but when a baby is born it‘s first encounter is the nipples, the breast and it’s beautiful…it’s giving love and life.

CT.   That sounds like a very healthy attitude to have about nudity and sexuality.

BL.  It’s not attitude…it’s the truth!

CT.   (burst of laughter)  Ohooo… Now tell me, is there anybody special in your life that you’re seeing or dating?

BL.   I don’t have an exclusive relationship now..I think …. that many men are intimidated, but I hope not… because I’m really shy.  Many may think I’m just open and I’m showing off, but I’m not that way in a private relationship, I’m still that shy traditional Chinese girl.

CL.   So your public persona is much different from your private life, is that what you’re saying?

BL.  I think it’s more exciting for a gentleman because I have a variety of spirit, many different parts. But I truly hope that people can see my soul, the sophistication, the talent and the kind heart…  I was in South Africa just a month ago to bring awareness to the world for saving the wild animals like the Rhino and the Elephant…  because I feel like in a previous life I was a wild animal.

CT.   Oh I think you’re still a bit of a wild animal…

BL.  You Too! (laughing)

CT.  Maybe (laughter) That’s why we get along so well…

BL.   I just want people to see that I have this very generous soul and help and all the beautiful things that I have to offer a gentleman.  I like to be in love, I like to have family, I like to have somebody very close to me that I can share that tender beautiful kiss.

CT.   You’re so sweet. Can you offer some dating tips for the guys if somebody wanted to ask you out?

BL.   Well for a man they kind of know what they want, but for a woman we are very sensuous, very mysterious, very romantic.  Also, we see truth.  So, always trust and don’t lie,  We may not say, but we can feel. No matter who you are, just tell the truth and we will love you…..I’ll share a little secret.  Once a guy picked me up on a date and I got in the car.. and OMG…I asked him to lower my window and I was talking like this with my head out the window and he said “ Why?” And I said, because of the perfume you use!

CT.  (burst of laughter)

BL.  Yes, I wanted to leave and I asked myself, how am I going to survive…and all through dinner I am leaning  back in my chair as far as I could and he said, “ Bai Ling, I can’t hear you..what’s wrong?” I said I’m sorry I have to go to the bathroom.  Finally I said my stomach, I don’t feel well. It was just too much. He put on too much and the smell..I was drowning.

CT.  Don’t you hate that?  It’s like the battling scents.  If we’re going to wear a nice perfume…do we want a guy who’s got a stronger scent?

BL.   I know, I know!! I felt like, because of his bad perfume I’m gonna die!

CT.   I agree with you on that one 100 percent….So what other tips might you have?  Like what’s a perfect date for you?

BL.    I like someone who has a sense of humor.  I like to be taken out, given flowers and I like to enjoy someone with a romantic personality who knows how to treat a lady, like opening the door for them, much like European or Asian traditions like men are supposed to. We are a flower, we’re tender, we’re gentle and we give you such love, so you have to treat us with respectfulness with sincere honesty like a gift in many ways…and to pamper us to make us happy.With that little effort you can get the world from us.

CT.    That makes sense. I agree 100 percent. Now, going back a little bit you came to America and you studied at New York University…And then you became a U.S. citizen…Now that you’re in America, might you share some of your thoughts on things about the country that you really like and things about the American culture that you don’t.

BL.    I feel like China is like my parents or grandparents and America is like my boyfriend or my husband.  I think I like the liberation or the freedom, that openness that let’s me be who I am, Bai Ling.  But of course I’m a popular figure I have to be careful about that…

CT.  That’s really a great way to put it, I know exactly what you’re saying.

BL.   I feel like I have this open window…. I don’t have to worry about what should I say, what should I do…But with the Asian I love that nuance that richness of the culture, like the poetry from my parents and grandparents. I learned so much from them. The gentleness. 

CT.   You’re very tuned in to everything…Well it sounds to me like your culture gave you that inner core, your spirit, your soul and that….

BL.     Nuance !

CT.    Yeah, the nuance.  That makes you who you are.

BL.   As a woman.

CT.   Yes, and being here, if I’m understanding you correctly, gives you the freedom to express who Bai Ling really is.

BL.   Yes…..I’ve always wanted to share that since I learned English word by word and yes I’m still trying to learn,  but these two words that I learned I want to share with everybody.  If you always remember them in your life, your work and your relationship you’ll have no problem.  And the words are, “Give and Forgive.”  You see to forgive, is to give. Then you can have a beautiful relationship by forgiving everybody.  Then you’ll have a healthy mentality as well as your heart and soul will be on the very simple right road to dealing with life, love and everything.

CT.   That’s so beautiful… I have another question for you. You’ve been in the media internationally for a very long time and you’re often represented in one way or the other.  So, this is your opportunity to express.  Is there any way that the media portrays you that they get wrong that you would like to correct?

BL.   Yes I feel like, since I didn’t grow up with this designer culture like…and all of that, many of those designers I did not know.   I have learned now, but when I first came here and did a film with Richard Gere and since I was the leading lady people started to recognize me.  So when I went on the Red Carpet the photographers were taking pictures of me and would ask,“ Bai Ling what are you wearing?”  And I would say, “ I’m wearing a jacket!”

CT.  (Laughter)… Oh my goodness!

BL.    I had no clue what they were asking.. Because I hadn’t caught up to it.  I think the designers are great, they’re beautiful.  Like Channel… all of that… But I think that people today all over the world, even in China, people are too caught up with the designers names.

CT.   Right, you’re much more than the name of the jacket you’re wearing…

BL.    Yes, you shouldn’t identify yourself because of what you’re wearing….But know who you are.Well it’s true they (the media) don’t know what I’m going to do.  I think they see me as this pop culture fashion crazy Bai Ling who’s way out there…

CT.  Well that is the image they project.

BL.   Well now I know that I have to be aware because of being in the media with people watching me and I have to behave as who I am to guide myself to be Bai Ling the sophisticated actress because that’s who I am.

CT.   That’s the one thing that struck me about you.  There is much more to you than meets the eye.  You’re intelligent, you’re beautiful, smart, witty and… I think if I understand you correctly, you don’t want the media to portray you as this risky, risque, out there person.  Am I right?

BL.   You’re totally correct, yes.

CT.   Now there’s nothing wrong with that to a degree too…because you are this sexy, wild image.

BL.   Well, I have to be wild, I am wild..

CT.  That ain’t  gonna go away Hon.They could put you in a potato sack and people would still think you’re wild and fun…

(In the photo above Bai and I have a little fun hamming it up)

BL.   But I always tell them… dare to trash me, also dare to celebrate me.  Dare to do both, not just one.

CT.    Oh well stated.  You know, you’ve been quoted as saying: “ Life happens to you whether you like it or not.  Sometimes I feel you have to be so brave to stand in front of the world and just hope that people will have a tender heart toward you.”

BL.   Thank you.

CT.  Do you feel that your fans and others have extended their heart toward you?

BL.  Yes, I feel really grateful because I have my official BaiLing.com, (and social sites)…and people get to hear my voice, not just what the media says…… I feel sometimes like I’m so vulnerable and want people to know me and understand the truth of me.  And yes I hope all of you will visit me on social media because I post daily and I give a little fat free sugar free cookie of wisdom to those who visit. 

CT.  (Laughing)   No calories in the wisdom cookie huh?

BL.   (laughing)  No, no calories..  Today I said, “ Be Loving, Kind, Sweet, because those are the qualities our world needs.”  And someone said,  “ Thank you for reminding us.”  So, I have a pure heart here, honestly I just want everyone to see who I am…we are born to be innocent and beautiful and we should keep that way forever.

CT.   And that’s part of why I really wanted to interview you today and I want you to know that My Cyndi’s Secrets members, and especially me, we extend that tender warm heart toward you.  You are awesome Bai Ling and I wish you all the luck in the world!

BL.   Thank You.  There is just one thing I want to share that I know about Bai Ling.  This is another of my quotes:  “If I’m thinking, I am an idiot.  If I’m not thinking, I am a genius.”  That’s me.

CT.   And you heard it here.  My Cyndi’s Secrets, Shhhh…

And until next time……Strut your stuff on the red carpet of life! Shhhh!™  Life is too short so I say – InJOY!

Cyndi Targosz

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